As my own family shifts into gear with college lists and visits, the dreaded Naviance questionnaires looming, SAT/ACT exams happening, and the Common App waiting like a stalking butler (thanks, Maynard), extracurricular activities have been popping into mind recently.  According to the US Census, roughly 40% of kids participate in sports, with approximately 30% being involved in clubs or lessons outside of school.  In towns like Berkeley Heights, that number is even higher.  The average number of extracurricular activities for tenth-graders in similar locations is three, taking about five to eight hours per week, however involvement in sports can push that number upwards of 12-14.

Lucas Benjamin, staff writer at The Science Survey writes: “The pressure to stand out has also led to an increased emphasis on extracurriculars. Activities once considered “nice to have” on an application, like joining a club or playing a sport, are now seen as essential, but even that’s no longer enough. Today’s applicants feel they must not only participate in these activities but excel at them, often holding leadership positions or winning awards. This shift has transformed after-school activities into another competitive arena where students strive to differentiate themselves.”

According to clinical psychologist Dr. Harpreet Kaur, “When kids are too overscheduled and stressed, they’re more prone to anxiety, irritability, tiredness and destructibility, Kaur says. She adds that rates of anxiety and depression are already somewhat high in the general adolescent population, and “overscheduling kids just makes those rates increase.”

Dr. Jerry Bubrick, clinical psychologist, has a pretty simple calculus for how much is too much. “Can you still do your homework? Can you still get 8+ hours of sleep each night? Can you still be a part of your family? Can you still hang out with your friends? If the answer is ‘no’ to one or more of these, then it’s too much.”

This may all sound quite familiar.  Since January, I’ve been working on scheduling for a Scouting America Troop.  We have scouts who are involved in school sports, club sports, tutoring or after-school academics, robotics, religious education, music and theater… the list is long. It’s the cause of some stress on my part, so I started to dig into the value of these extracurriculars, compared to the potential stresses.

There are well-documented positive results from these activities, including higher academic performance, more positive academic perspectives, boosted self-esteem, lower levels of risky behavior and increased social skills.  Colleges may use extracurriculars in determining acceptance.  Kids may find life-long interests and skills they may not have otherwise encountered.  So what about all the quotes above?

I then discovered the following study, which focused on whether parental expectations and criticisms are the true cause of stress surrounding activities, rather than the number of activities. From the abstract, “There is, however, another set of factors that may be more directly linked with affluent teens’ distress than extracurricular involvement, and that is adults’ inordinate emphasis on achievements. […] In two different samples of high-SES suburban middle-school sixth graders, findings showed that when parents’ values tended to emphasize children’s achievements far more than their personal integrity, there were associations with multiple maladjustment indexes.”

This reinforced a personally-held belief in one of the main strengths of the scouting program my family has long been involved with, going back decades with grandfather, father, brothers, and eventually my own daughter and sons joining.  That strength is summed up in a simple phrase most, if not all, scout leaders are familiar with: Let Them Fail.  In no other extracurricular (that I’m familiar with) is failure stated to be an acceptable outcome, nor an outcome that doesn’t jeopardize one’s journey or standing.  While this idea shouldn’t necessarily be applied to other extracurricular activities, it can serve as a guide for parents.

As we navigate our way through the process of raising well-rounded kids, we can help them achieve positive results from their activities by highlighting our approval of their commitment to their endeavors as well as our pride in their growth as people and in their increasing skills.  We can deemphasize ‘getting ahead’ and making critical statements.  And with that, I’ll throw in a second scout saying (metaphorical this time); “Hike on!”

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